The Ancient Paths

Thus says the Lord:

"Stand by the roads and look,

and ask for the ancient paths,

where the good way is; and walk in it,

and find rest for your souls.

But they said, "we will not walk in it,"

I set a watchman over you saying,

Pay attention to the sound of the trumpet!

But they said, "We will not pay attention."

Jeremiah 6:16-17

Anytime I find the word 'rest' in scripture, my soul goes on high alert.   I have really become a very weary person: weary of striving, weary of getting it wrong, and weary of displeasing man.    I have worn myself out trying to find peace, even though I had salvation.  So what is this 'ancient path'?  What is this trumpet that I don't pay any attention to?  Have I said, "I will not pay attention."   If so, why?  Why won't I pay attention?

In Matthew 11:29, Jesus says: "Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. (The Amplified Bible)   Jesus Himself is the Ancient Path.  I must choose all roads that lead to Him.  I can't get to the Father through any road but Him.  Satisfying the law on my own or satisfying the judgments of other people will not bring me to Him.  Refreshment and recreation lie in trusting Him with my transformation and with my relationships.  I don't choose this Path when it seems easier, when it seems safer to cut my own path.  When I don't pay attention to His alarm, His trumpet, it's because my own fear and pride have captured all my attention.  Lord how many times do I have to be worried and chased by enemies before I listen?  Today I chose the ancient, eternal path: You.

Father teach me the paths that lead to you: prayer, meditation, study of your word, simplicity, service, worship and love.  Forgive me when I chosen religious perfectionism (the yeast of the Pharisees) and petty addictions instead of You.   Give me the faith I need to trust the Ancient Path, Jesus.   Come deep into the center of my brokenness and comfort me in my loneliness.   I long for the 'soul rest' you promise.  I long for you.

A Prayer for the Rest-Full Life

I found this prayer in a devotional called Praying with Paul.  This prayer is based on one of my favorite passages of scripture: Hebrews 3:7-4:11.  I decided to blog it so I could find it back and make it part of my prayer cycle.  

Dear Father, I long to enter into your rest - into creative work that is effortless, into joyous activity in which there is no fatigue, into glorious  praise of which I will not tire!  Thank you for the Good News that there remains a Sabbath Rest for the people of God.  Keep me from being hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.   May I not focus on the glittering things of this world and lose sight of the glorious eternity that awaits me.   Let me not fall away from you through faithlessness and disobedience as did your ancient people in the wilderness wanderings.  Let no rebellion sprout in my heart against you.  May I walk steadfastly and patiently in your paths.  May I learn that to enter your rest I must surrender my will .  In the name of Jesus I ask. Amen.

Press into Him in prayer.  Press into him in Life!  In Him is freedom from the tiresome addictions and strivings of this world that burn up the lives of many.  In Him is a creative activity that knows no fatigue.  

A Prayer For Freedom from the False Self by Henri Nouwen

"Why do I keep relating to You as one of my many relationships, instead of my ONLY relationship, in which all other ones are grounded ? Why do I keep looking for popularity, respect from others, success, acclaim, and sensual pleasures ? Why, Lord, is it so hard for me to make You the only one ? Why do I keep hesitating to surrender myself totally to You ?

Help me, O Lord, to let my old self die, to let die the thousand big and small ways in which I am still building up my false self and trying to cling to my false desires. Let me be reborn in You and see through You the world in the right way, so that all my actions, words, thoughts can become a hymn of praise to You. I need Your loving grace to travel on this hard road that leads to the death of my old self and to a new life in and for You. I know and trust that this is the road to freedom. Lord, dispel my mistrust and help me become a trusting friend. Amen."

-Henri Nouwen, "A Cry for Mercy"

Wind Blown

The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes, so is everyone who is born of the Spirit..   John 3:8 New King James

Jesus said, "You're not listening.  Let me say it again.  Unless a person submits to this original creation --the 'wind hovering over the water' creation,  the invisible moving the visible, a baptism into a new life -- it's not possible to enter God's kingdom   When you look at a baby, it's just that: a body you can look at and touch.  But the person who takes shape within is formed by something you can't see and touch -- the Spirit--and becomes a living spirit."  From John 3 in The Message Bible

This windblown quality of followers of Christ from this verse in John puzzled me at first. The pictures of the Spirit from The Message Bible ignited my imagination.   Everyone born of the Spirit is molded and motivated by an invisible influence to be citizens of an invisible kingdom.  This mysterious quality of those born by the Spirit can excite the curiosity of those who are not born of the Spirit.  We lay aside the agendas of modern self-help programs and religious rules and allow ourselves to blown about by the Spirit of Life.  Just as we see a leaf quiver in a summer breeze so we can see the movement of the breath of the Holy Spirit in the lives of the windblown people of God.  

Brennan Manning writes: "Though the Scriptures speak insistently of the divine initiative in the work of salvation, that by grace we are saved. That the Tremendous Lover has taken to the chase, American spirituality still seems to start with self, not with God. Personal responsibility replaces personal response.  We seem engrossed in our own efforts to grow in holiness." But Jesus taught Nicodemus that the way to this windblown life is gained by looking up to Him as the people of Israel looked up at the serpent in the desert and believed.  Real life lies in looking up at Jesus on the cross and looking at the love that nailed Him to it. Meditate and receive that love, that love that says you are enough because Jesus has made you enough.  

Jesus, resting in your love goes against my cultural and very human instincts to achieve, to work to be worthy, and to work to be noticed.  Holy Spirit show me this rest-filled, windblown lifestyle.  I struggle to comprehend it.  I long to enter into the mystery and wildness of it.  I confess I get in the way.  My desire to impress you and others-the Pride of Life-gets in the way.  My stubborn refusal to let go of shame - to  let go of the idea I can change myself - gets in the way of this windblown life.  My refusal to believe you will transform my life gets in the way.  My refusal to let go of the way my life will look to others gets in the way.  Spirit blow on me.   Blow apart the Self that gets in the way.   Leave only me and You.   Leave only Your love.  

Confessing Self-sufficiency

I found this prayer from Renovare' this morning.  Self-sufficiency is truly the enemy of rest.  I find leaving this particular "hyphenated sin" terrifying and painful to give up.   I keep asking the Holy Spirit to come into the center of my fear, so that I can leave this frantic scurry to provide for myself, relax His huge, strong arms and  watch and wait to see what He is doing.

Resting in God’s love requires that we confront our desires to be self-sufficient. It can be difficult, or even painful, to recognize our need for God, and find our sufficiency in him. Our prayer this morning is for our stubborn hearts:

Father, I am stubborn and willful. How quickly I resort to finding my own path, fighting battles on my own, and making plans without you, when all along you, Almighty God, are beside me! You are ready to make my paths straight, to fight on my behalf, and to guide me in the way you have planned if I just trust you first and above all else. Oh Heavenly Father, I long to learn true dependence, and through this, to find rest, freedom and deep peace in your sovereign care. Teach me, Lord, to be your servant.

Amen.

In addition Lord, lead me deeper into silence.  Give me the wisdom and discipline to cease complaining and otherwise manipulating people with my words.  I am determined to trust you with my reputation and my future.   May I make my home in your love today instead of my own machinations.   I love you. 

Amen

Work as Rest

For this reason the Jews persecuted Jesus and sought to kill Him, because He had done these things on the Sabbath.  But Jesus answered them,"My Father has been working until now, and I have been working."  John 5:16-17

The Pharisees defined work as activity, even walking was work.  The idea of rest was to stop doing anything, regardless of it's purpose.  Jesus' activity despite it's obvious restorative results met with persecution and plots.  Why was his violation of Sabbath law so dangerous and disturbing to him.  Jesus says he's been working all the time as His father has been working.  The work brings life. Ironically the work brings true rest and peace for those being healed.  It brings freedom from worry and striving. 

Am I ever like the Pharisee?  Do I see rest merely as ceasing activity, of keeping the rules?   Do I kill impulses to bring about restoration?  Do I see rest as striving not to do something I shouldn't?  Or do I see rest as responding to the command "Get up, take your bed and walk"?  Rest is believing your sins are forgiven, and Jesus has given you the power to walk.  The the healing and the rest are the result of faith.  The rest is in the walking.

Father, may I always rest in believing you....

Rest-Full Prayer from Richard Foster

"Jesus, when you walked among the Jerusalem crowds and in the Judean hills, you pioneered this way of living. You were always alert and alive. You lived utterly responsive to the will of the Father. Manifold demands were placed upon you, and still you walked in unhurried peace and power.

Help me to walk in your steps. Teach me to see only what you see, to say only what you say, to do only what you do. Help me, Lord, to work resting and to pray resting.

I ask this in your good and strong name. Amen."

Unearned, Undeserved Spiritual Blessing

For while the Law was given through Moses, grace (unearned, undeserved favor and spiritual blessing) and truth come through Jesus Christ.   John 1:17  The Amplified Bible

The law of Moses, the perfect picture of  how we should behave and who we should be, led people to strive until they reached the end of themselves, failure.  No matter how hard any human being could ever work, the righteousness of the law could never be honestly attained.  The best men were only "white-washed tombs."   Then grace of Jesus, a medicine and antidote for life, leads people to rest from the law.  Instead transformation comes from relaxing into grace.

So long I have striven to do what I ought to do and to be who I ought to be,  but I reached the end of myself, failure.  How do I relax into grace?  How do I receive this transformation?  I believe.  I confess.  I know this Jesus.  I pray.  I worship. I wait.  I bring all my struggle and shame to Him over and over again.  I ask the Holy Spirit to change me.   Humility, complete dependence on God, changes me.   All my programs for progress are doomed to failure.

Jesus thank-you for coming as my Word, as my Light, as my Bread.  Teach me from Your life.   Shine your light on all my sin and darkness.   Feed me with your truth.   In the process of being with you, make me new into my true self.   Even with your good and gracious law, I am lost without You.  Thank-you for giving me a spiritual blessing I cannot earn and cannot deserve.

Jesus! I am resting....

I love any song, any poem, an expression of resting in Jesus!  To know Him is to know deep peace and joy.   To know Him is to cease striving and hustling and grasping for my own worthiness.  In His Kingdom, I simply am who He made me to be and He enjoys it!   Inside the greatness of His loving Heart, my need to be loved is completely satisfied, freeing me to love freely.  No depression, no rejection, no failure can move me from the center of his heart. Their pain and sorrow will only lead me deeper into the center and leave once again forever changed.   The longer I journey with Jesus the more incredible this person, this place becomes.  The more relaxed I become! 


Jesus! I am resting, resting In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee, And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For, by Thy transforming power, Thou hast made me whole.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus, I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless, Satisfies my heart,
Satisfies its deepest longings, Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings, Thine is love indeed

Humility

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Philippians 2:3

Humility, the place of entire dependence on God, is, from the very nature of things, the first duty and the highest virtue of the creature, and the root of every virtue.   -Andrew Murray

Don't do anything to put yourself on top or to feed your starved ego.  In stead, in humility --the place of entire dependence on God -- see other people as a high priority.  Completely satisfied and dependent on God rest in the fact that all your needs for love, security and significance are met in Him.   Nothing needs to be added.  The desire to push to the top and to get to the head of the line disappears.  Seeing others recognized becomes your new priority.

Lord, I place my poor, tired, lonely, ambitious self completely in your lap.  I seek to do nothing to make myself rich, popular, or successful.  Instead, I trust you to meet all my needs freeing me to meet others needs. I am free to see to it that others are rich or popular or successful.   Lead me into the free and happy place of humility!

Abounding Love

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.  Philippians 1:9-11

So this is my prayer; that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well.  Learn to love appropriately   You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush.  Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. (The Message Bible)

We need to pursue love as a commitment and an action, not just a positive feeling.  Jesus is our model.  Love pursues the words and actions that bring the best of everything to the beloved.   We must test our love to make sure that we are not ultimately only loving ourselves but truly loving others.  Do we love merely to be loved?  Do we love to make Jesus "attractive to all"?   Do we love from our soul's great union with our Lover, Jesus.

Jesus, increase my love.  Deepen my love affair with you.   May I become so lost in Your love that I love well, that I love from a Deep well.   Test my heart Lord; purify it from the tyranny of the self-life.   Make Your love so good and perfect in me that it attracts people to You.  

Be Strong in the Lord and the Strength of His Might

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.

In conclusion, be strong in the Lord (be empowered through your union with Him) draw your strength from Him (that strength which His boundless might provides.)  Our power comes from tight relationship with God; no other source will satisfy.  Everything else, every last thing, is false strength.

We try to be empowered by so many things: relationships, jobs, achievements, talents, intellect and the list could go on.   Hustling for some sense of energy and capability and security from the many sources our world seems to offer and seems to encourage us to pursue gives a false promise of empowerment and strength.   Those sources because they are so immediate seem so much easier to obtain and so much easier to access.  Our strength coming from our union with Him can seem so vague and so ethereal when we want tangible and solid.    However, His strength is boundless might; it is huge and vast.   Most of all that power is eternal while those earthbound sources are tenuous and temporary.  Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.

Jesus, teach me stay in union with you.  Teach me Your strength.  Show me how boundless is Your might.  When I feel weak and small, alone and afraid,  remind me Holy Spirit to run in to Your strong tower and be safe.   Help me not to reach first to manipulating my circumstances and to  manipulating other people to find strength.  Instead, teach me how to always and anywhere be strong in us (me and You).  

Walk in Love

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2

Since Christ forgave us, be imitators of Him in that way.  Live in love putting others well being before our own as Christ did on the cross.  Be so centered and satisfied in God's love, in the love of the Trinity that all you have left to do is pour out God's love.  Be so free from shame, be so confident you are enough, accepted and adopted that you don't need to play the petty games and partake in petty indulgences to numb the pain and fill the void.

All the sins and vices that Paul admonishes the Ephesians to avoid are all ways to dull the pain of sin and to grasp for significance.  When we find ourselves manipulating people and abusing substances to hustle for a few minutes of peace or a fleeting sense of power or adequacy, we need to ask ourselves what part of God's love do we still not understand.  

Father deliver me from my shame, from not being nearly enough.   Center me so deeply into the truth of my adoption that it frees me from all my addictions and from all the hurtful ways I can use and abuse people.  Help me to love others and give myself up for them as you did.   Show me how to be a true child of the Father.  

An Incredible Life

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  Ephesians 4:1-3

At the end of chapter three, Paul has prayed that the Ephesians they would be "strengthened with power through the Spirit in (their) inner being" and that Christ would dwell in their hearts and that they would be rooted in grounded in His love.  What would be the result?  A life full of humility, gentleness, patience and love, a love that puts up with a lot.

I have found myself lately saying that I would follow Jesus even if there were no heaven.  This calling Paul describes, this humble and gentle way of life, is already the reward.   Whenever I find myself wandering away from this calling He is available to me all over again.  His Spirit is available to make deeper changes, to make a deeper peace. To be sure, many good people with great ideals exist outside the church.  However, this gentle bond of peace can be found nowhere else.  I am not the creator of it; Jesus is.

Lord, strengthen me with the power through the Spirit in my inner being so that I may walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have called me.  You have called me to humility, gentleness, patience and love.  You have called me to put up with others imperfections as you put up with mine.  You have called me to maintain peace and unity with those around me.  Dwell in me Jesus so that I might live this incredible life.

Making Known the Manifold Wisdom of God

Ephesians 3: 8-10  To me, though I am the very least of all the saints  this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in heavenly places.

So favor was given to me, an ordinary person, to put into words the unfathomable, boundless, exhaust-less wealth of Christ, a wealth so vast no human being can explore to the end of it.   Favor was also given to me to make plain God's strategy to redeem this broken world invisible to mankind for ages.   I am revealing this mystery of God's strategy in Christ so that a Church, a group of other ordinary people, would make known the many-sided and infinite variety of God's wisdom to angelic and spiritual powers in high places.

God's word reminds me today that I am an ordinary person called to live an extraordinary life.  My humdrum, routine world lulls me into thinking my life is boring, dull, pedestrian.  The reality is that my life reveals a deep and profound mystery to the world wherever I find myself.  My life when joined with the lives of other followers of Christ put powers and principalities on notice that their reign is limited and that they are defeated.  Jesus loved the ordinary people.  Jesus' power is made known in weak and ordinary ways!  Hallelujah!

Father, thank-you for choosing me to reveal your vast mystery to the world.  I trust you to give me the words and actions to explain and to demonstrate the riches of Christ and a plan of Redemption far beyond my understanding.   Give your church the purity to make plain Your wisdom to the world.  Put the kingdom of darkness on notice that your ordinary people are revealing the Kingdom of God.  Hallelujah!  Our God reigns!

St. Patrick's Prayer

"I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun,

Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea,
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's hosts to save me
Afar and anear,
Alone or in a mulitude.

Christ shield me today
Against wounding
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through the mighty strength
Of the Lord of creation."

-St. Patrick

You ARE the Salt

"You are the salt" not "You should be the salt"! The disciples are given no choice whether they want to be salt or not. No appeal is made to them to become the salt of the earth. Rather they just are salt whether they want to be or not, by the power of the call which has reached them. "You are the salt" not "you have the salt." It would diminish the meaning to equate the disciples' message with salt, as the reformers did. What is meant is their whole existence, to the extent that it is newly grounded in Christ's call to discipleship, that existence of which the Beatitudes speak. All those who follow Jesus' call to discipleship are made by that call to be the salt of the earth in their whole existence.  - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

 “You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.

Matthew 5: 13

What a restful, sabbatical thought Bonhoeffer's is.   I do not have to strive and strain to become salt.  I do not have to work and plot to throw the salt around the world.  I am simply called to BE what Grace has made me to BE.  Salt.  I can lose my saltiness.   Where does that saltiness come from?   It comes from Him, the Great I Am.   Saltiness comes from being with the Great Being.   

My anxious heart still wants to come up with its own salt-making strategies: ten steps to making salt or my five-year plan to becoming more salty.  Jesus says, "Come."    Joining an institution, becoming a spiritual person of note or learning a new skill for ministry is the way to be salty.  Jesus says, "My burden is light."  What should I be doing Lord?   Nothing I do matters.  Jesus says, "And I will give you rest."

Does my heart yearn for significance or for Him?  I am already salt.  I have been given saltiness.   I am already potent.  When I've lost direction, when I am lost, when I am sad, when I feel small, I have not lost a mission or a purpose. Instead,  I have lost my saltiness, my Savior and my Lover.  The only task then is to do what Jesus did to go away to a lonely place and pray.  Meditate on His words to me like "salt". My joy and my saltiness made new.   He promises to make my journey potent with the Kingdom.  

Letting Go of the Collar

But that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, 'Pay what you owe.'  So his fellow servant fell down and and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.'  He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

Matthew 19:28-30, New English Standard Version

Whenever I read these verses from the story of "The Unforgiving Servant,"   I see in my mind's eye, my imagination, a man holding another man by the collar.  As the one in need of forgiveness falls, the unforgiving one holds him by the collar.  The one needing forgiveness is relaxed, broken, on-his-knees; the unforgiving is bent over him threatening, angry, muscles full of strain and tension.  Contrition and confession is a relaxed posture, a posture of one held.   Anger and unforgiveness is a tense and taxing posture.

Struggling with angry memories of past hurts and thoughtless words, I became aware of this image.  I was still bent over these people my spiritual muscles taught and tired. The Holy Spirit urged, "Let go."   Realizing in that moment how much work, how heavy a yoke that spiritual posture was, I let go.   In that moment, the Holy Spirit allowed me to imagine all those debtors of mine falling away and into His arms.   As the tension and strain of holding on to those people released, I felt light and joyful.

You cannot live the Sabbatical Life, the life of rest, if you hold on to collars.   The burden of unforgiveness is like trying to hold the weight of another human being for days, weeks, years or decades.   Unforgiveness requires a life of tension and strain; confession and forgiveness relaxed, broken, on-your-knees and in-His-arms.  Practicing a life of  confession and forgiveness is the easy yoke Jesus calls us to bear.  It is the relaxed work of the Kingdom.   Let go of collars; enter into the Sabbatical Life.

Come To Me

Matthew 11: 28-30  ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I begin reading today in my Bible Gateway reading plan.   Wow.  These verses are waiting for me in the very first set of texts. The Father is so present in my life.   "Come to me" is the great work of the Kingdom.  I read in some of my old journals today, and I was tempted to be discouraged at how for so long God has been calling, beckoning, and ordering me to "come".   Instead I have been afraid the coming wouldn't be enough effort to secure the goodies of the Kingdom, the character I desired.  In my truly honest moments, I have to admit I wanted the character of the Kingdom to attain the love and approval I longed for in those around me.   Was it always about loving the Father?  No.  I succumbed to the lure of religion, the yeast of the Pharisee.

The Old Testament portion today was the story of Joseph's time in Potiphar's house and subsequent imprisonment.   Joseph did everything right.  He was loyal to his master refusing repeatedly to sleep with his master's wife.  In the end, his loyalty went unrecognized by an angry master who threw him in prison.  In prison, he interprets the dream of a cup bearer who forgets him for years.  I would think Joseph would be very tempted to give up on "doing the right thing."    Who cares?  No one cares.

 Unless...unless it wasn't doing the right thing; it was being the right thing.  Perhaps the pain of the rejection he'd experienced from his own family led him into the lap of the Father.  He says, " ...How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9)   His motivation is relational.   Though the Lord did give him favor in Potiphar's house and prison, his good deeds had no immediate pay off.   The favor seems to be a gift.  He immediately gives God the "credit" for interpreting dreams.   The fact that the cup bearer and baker come to him suggest he's known in the prison for this sort of activity.  I'm sure his ability to interpret dreams comes out of a lifestyle of listening.   Joseph's life suggests a presence with the Father and a confidence that transcends his circumstances.  I find myself taking a closer look at Joseph's remarkable life, a life of achievement without striving and plotting.  His life comes out of his "chosen-ness" and out of presence with God.

Jesus is teaching about the Kingdom of God and about those who are missing the Kingdom.   They are unimpressed by the tremendous grace of the miracles Jesus is performing.  Religious leaders are offended that the kingdom comes for the undeserving, the very worst sinners of society.   Our striving, our excellence, and our character don't carry much weight here.  Instead Jesus uses words such as rest, easy, light, gentle and humble.  What if coming to him is all I need to do?   What if listening to his voice is all I need to hear?  What if this life I'm living right now with no titles, no agenda is enough?   What if it's about pursuing life with Him instead of achievements for Him?  What will happen if I just live in his presence?  I can't wait to find out.

Like a Weaned Child

Yesterday, through friends, the Lord reminded me of  this quiet childlike posture he began teaching me in 2007 according to my journal. They reminded me of Psalm 131, and so I went searching for it in my many journals.  I found that, back then,  I was recognizing the need for Sabbatical, but not realizing it as a lifestyle.  I have continued to wrestle instead of rest.  One friend graced me with Corrie ten Boom's words, "Jesus was Lord, is Lord and will be Lord.  Don't wrestle, just nestle."  As I considered the words of I John 4:10, "...not that we loved God, but that He loved us,"   I remembered these words from Jill Philip's song, "Gently lay your head upon my chest; I will comfort you like a mother while you rest."   For me, at least a couple trips around this "doing and overdoing" mountain are teaching me about a pride in my heart that still wants to arrange for love for myself in activity.  His rebuke yesterday was gentle and full of love that I long to repent of this pride and once again to understand this love better.  So I review these thoughts given to me a few years before with new anticipation.

This Psalm outlines the process of rest and trust.   The perfect picture of trust is a small child asleep against the chest of his/her mother, listening to her heartbeat.  When we are proud (wanting greatness and approval), when we are haughty (casting our eyes about judging, anticipating that next move of an enemy) and when we involve ourselves with great matters or things too difficult (trying to control the uncontrollable), these activities bring our soul off the lap of our Father.  As Wayne Jacobsen says in So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, we become driven by “our anxiety that God is not working on our behalf.”  I want to learn a trust that leans on His chest.  As Jacobsen writes, "Trusting doesn’t make you a couch potato. As you follow him you’ll find yourself doing more than you’ve ever done, but it won’t be the frantic activity of a desperate person, it will be the simple obedience of a loved child."

Psalm 131

O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty.

Nor do I involve myself in great matters, or in things too difficult for me.

Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother,

My soul is like a weaned child within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord

From this time forth and forever.

In response to Psalm 131, I wrote these words four years ago.  Here I am in the fall.  The fall, gracious and silent, lies down with a throw and sighs contentedly.  This fall reminds me of my years living near the the stillness of the Ponderosa Pines in the Front Range of Colorado where the air was utterly still, cool and clean.  I felt that I was resting under the wing of the Holy Spirit, so it is with this Nebraska fall.   The air has the same golden cool, clean still quality; the angle of the sun produces a more orange sunlight to replace the bright white sunlight of summer.  This golden light reflected in warm orange, yellow and crimson colored leaves relaxes like a good yawn and stretch.  The whole earth is yawning and stretching, getting ready for its much deserved and long overdue winter rest.  And so the natural rhythm of life is that activity must necessarily give way to stillness, rest.   Natural rhythms seem to point to the rhythm of grace – ceasing all striving, all the work and receiving the God-given gift of being relaxed in his love, accepted, as the Psalmist says like a “weaned child on his mother’s breast."  Living there, living in grace is perfect contentment.  So I join contentment on my deck though an anxious child wanting so badly to do it herself, to impress her daddy, and to secure her own future whines noisily. I take that child in my arms and rock her slowly.  “Listen to the quiet and settle down for a nap,” I tell her,  "Daddy has done everything; there is nothing left to do."

I am grateful for the gentle cycles of the seasons.   I am grateful for His gentleness in the cycles of my own sins and shortcomings.   I can learn to trust and lean on and love a daddy who is so steady and sure in His pursuit of me.  I can love a daddy who will patiently teach me the same lessons over and over again.  I am so glad he has disappointed every illusion I've had about myself, that he has thwarted every attempt to gain confidence in the approval and attention of others, and that He has left me no place to go but home.  At home I find Him waiting in his large, stuffed chair waiting to hold me again.  I can really live here.